翻译：Carol Gao 校对：610、白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net
消消气
好耶！ All right!
生日快乐！ Happy birthday!
你许的什么愿？ What did you wish for?
这是隐私 That's personal.
是吗 我知道你许的什么愿 Yeah. Yeah, I know what you wished for.
你才不知道我许的什么愿 You don't know what I wished for...
而且这不关你事 ... and it's none of your business, really.
- 我知道 - 真的？ - Oh, I know. - Oh, really?
- 真的 - 什么？是什么？ - Yeah, I do. - What, what, what?
你许的什么愿？ What did you wish for?
这是我的隐私 是个愿望 You know, it's a personal thing. It's a wish.
- 你希望... - 我不想说我的愿望 - You wished... - I don't like to say what I wished for.
你希望路易路易斯死掉 You wished that Louis Lewis would die,
这样你就不用把自己的肾给理查德了 so you don't have to give up your own kidney to Richard.
是的 没错 Yeah, right.
- 就是这个吧 - 是 - That's what it was. - Yeah.
- 是的 信我没错 - 不 才不是 - Yeah, trust me. - No, it wasn't.
- 肯定是 - 谁会做出这种事？ - Oh yes. - Who would do something like that?
你啊！就是你！ You! You, that's who... you!
你觉得我会希望一个陷入昏迷的人 You think I would wish for somebody who's in a coma,
希望一个植物人死掉 who's practically a vegetable, to die,
仅仅因为我可以不用捐我的肾了？ just so I wouldn't have to give up my own kidney?
好了 Okay.
来拆礼物吧 Let's go. Open her up.
瞧瞧啊 Look at this.
- 这家伙给我准备了礼物呢 - 真贴心 - The guy got me a present, huh? - It's nice.
- 真够朋友！ - 的确 - What a guy! - Yes, indeed.
有个大块头当朋友真好 可以随便打 It's good to have a big friend, you can really smack him around.
就像这样 You know, look at that!
- 他不会疼 - 根本没感觉 - You know, it doesn't hurt. - Don't feel a thing.
- 完全伤不到他 感觉不到 - 完全没感觉 - Doesn't hurt him, doesn't feel anything. - Don't feel a thing.
你也来一下 打他一下 Take a pop at him. Go ahead, take a pop.
来打一下 毫发无损 Take a pop. Doesn't feel anything.
- 我来帮你 - 什么？你在干什么？ - Here, let me help you. - What? What are you doing?
- 我能打开 - 是我包装的 - I got it. - Come on. I wrapped it.
- 我知道怎么打开 - 跟这没关系 这是我的礼物 - I know how to do it. - Doesn't matter. It's my gift!
- 就让我来吧！ - 是我的礼物 放手 - Let me do it! - What? It's my present. Let go.
- 放开盒子 - 别闹啦！ - Let go with the package. - All right!
放手 Let go.
- 我知道是什么了 - 就是那个 - I know what it is. - Yes, indeed.
- 我知道是什么了 - 是什么？是什么？ - I know what it is. - What is it? What is it?
是件绿色的... 绿色的运动夹克 It's a green... it's a green sport jacket.
他有一件 我说他穿着很好看 He has one and I complimented him on it.
他记得我说过就送了我这件 And he remembered what I said and he got me this.
这是我过的最棒的生日了 This is the best birthday I ever had.
对任何人都是最棒的生日 Best birthday a fellow could ever have.
我注意到礼物里没有... I noticed that you haven't...
- 你参与的部分... - 我知道 我的礼物还得再等一下 - contributed anything to... - I know, my gift is on hold.
我得先再确认一下 才能给你 I have to confirm something before I give it to you.
- 真的吗？ - 真的 会很棒的 - Really? - No, it's gonna be so good.
- 会是很棒的礼物 - 我什么时候才能拿到？ - It's gonna be so good. - When am I going to get it?
- 我百分之百确认之后就可以 - 是吗？ - As soon as I have 100% confirmation. - Really?
你会喜欢的 相信我 And you're going to love it. Just trust me.
- 噢 - 你会喜欢的 - Aw. - Yeah, but you'll love it.
- 来吧 - 你一定会喜欢的 - Come on. - You're going to love it.
- 试试夹克 - 相信我 - Try the jacket on. - Trust me.
等一下 Oh, one second.
- 你好吗？ - 很好 - How are you? - All right.
- 怎么样啊寿星先生？ - 不错 很不错 - How are you, Mr. Birthday boy today? - Pretty good, pretty good.
- 你还记得啊 - 当然了 拜托 - Oh, you remembered. - Remember, please.
- 我真不敢相信 - 怎么会忘呢？开玩笑 - I can't believe it. - Who can forget? Oh, you kiddin'!
谁会忘记这日子啊 你爸怎么样？ Who'd forget this day. How's your dad?
他... 你知道的 还行吧 He's... you know, he's all right.
听力有点退化了 脑袋也... The hearing is going and the mind is, you know, it's...
真是太悲哀了 他以前很敏锐的 This is tragic, 'cause this guy, he was sharp.
是啊 但是他不再... 他现在变得健忘 Yeah, but he's not... he forgets things,
什么都记不住 he doesn't remember stuff anymore. Yeah...
至少不是屁股出了问题 Well, at least it's not his hip.
如果是屁股的话就活不了了 Because once it's in the hip, then you're gone.
他们都... 他们说那样的话就完蛋了 They all... they say you're gone.
- 瞧瞧谁来了 - 嗨 安迪 你好吗伙计？ - Look who's here. - Hi, Andy. How are you, pal?
- 很高兴见到你 - 你好啊杰夫 - Good to see you. - How are you, Jeffrey?
很高兴见到你 Good to see you.
我忘了跟你说件重要的事 I forgot to tell you something so important.
海夫纳邀请我去他庄园参加派对 Hef invited me to a party at the mansion.
- 真的吗？ - 是啊 没错 - Really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
想去花花公子庄园吗？ Want to go to the Playboy mansion?
当然 我想去吗？当然了 但是我能去吗？我不知道 Yeah, do I want to? Yeah, but can I? I don't know.
没事 我们就说去看电影什么的了 Come on. We'll be "going to a movie" or something.
- 不可能的 别说了 - 没关系的 会很好玩 - There's no way. Come on. - Oh, come on. You'll have fun.
我很想去 I'd love to go.
我得去下洗手间 失陪了 I got to go to the bathroom. Pardon me a sec.
噢 嘿 我问你件事 Oh, hey, let me ask you something.
你父母... Did...
你父母有没有跟你说过... did your parents ever mention anything to you about me being...
我是被收养的？ adopted?
什么？ What?
我父亲躺在医院病床上的时候... When my father was lying on the hospital bed...
我从来没听说有这事 I've never heard anything like this.
耐特从没跟我或者我妈说过 Nat never said anything to me, to my mom,
- 只字未提 - 你爸妈都没说过？ - nothing. - Parents never said anything?
没有 这太离谱了 Nothing. This is wild.
- 我雇了个私家侦探 - 不是吧 - I hired a private investigator. - No, you didn't.
没错 很快就会有消息了 Yeah, I should hear something pretty soon.
不可能 你知道吗拉里？你疯了 No! You know what, Larry? You're nuts.
你这是异想天开 You're out of your mind.
别管这事了 Just leave it alone.
我去跟谢丽儿打招呼 I'm going to go say hey to Cheryl.
下午好 Oh, good afternoon.
- 你好 - 你好 - Hello. - Hello.
有什么可以帮你？ Can I help you?
我是他堂弟的朋友 I'm a friend of his cousin.
理查德路易斯... Richard Lewis...
噢 是的 路易斯先生 没错 是的 Oh, yes, yes. Mr. Lewis. Yes. Right, yeah.
这真是太不幸了 太叫人难过了 Yes, that's too bad. It's too bad.
他怎么样？ How's he doing?
很遗憾 他状况不是很好 Well, unfortunately he's not doing too well.
他陷入了不可逆转的昏迷 He's in an irreversible coma.
你也看到了... And uh, as you can see...
- 我们给他装了呼吸机 - 我看到了 没错 - we got him set up on life support. - I see, yeah.
病情不容乐观 所以... Prognosis isn't good. So...
所以... So...
你觉得他还能活多久？ how long do you think he has?
- 你说什么？ - 你觉得他还能活多久？ - I beg your pardon? - How long do you think he has?
很难说 几天 几周 几个月都有可能 It's hard to say. It could be days, weeks, months.
以往病例也有昏迷好多年的情况 There's been cases where patients have been in comas for years.
- 真的吗？ - 是的 - Oh, really? - Yeah, yeah.
那你觉得你更倾向于... What do you think you're leaning more towards...
几周还是几个月？ weeks or months?
很难说 It's hard to say.
如果必须选一个呢？ If you had to pick one.
我选不了 I don't know if I could pick one.
猜猜看 Take a shot.
不要 No.
好吧... Well...
昏迷的时候胡子会怎么样？ What happens to the moustache in a coma?
- 胡子？ - 对 他的胡子 - The moustache? - Yeah, his moustache.
会继续长 It continues to grow.
- 有位女士来修过几次 - 真的？ - There's a lady who comes in a couple times. - Really?
医院有理发师？ The hospital has a barber?
是的 她人很好 Yeah. She's a nice lady.
她修剪胡子 理发 She clips his moustache, she does his hair.
- 她只在医院工作还是... - 只在医院 - She just works within the hospital or... - Within the hospital, yes.
我们希望让他舒服一点 We just try and keep him comfortable,
还有... 你知道... and... you know...
挺可怜的哈... seems a pity though, that...
这样的人 他们... these people like they...
肉身憔悴地躺在这儿 灵魂却哭喊着要... languish like this when the soul is crying to...
嗯 你可以这么看 Yeah, I guess you could look at it that way.
他有这么多器官可以捐献 He's got all these organs he could be donating.
你懂我意思吗？ You know what I mean?
嗯 应该懂了 Yeah. I suppose.
这些人和他们的器官就待在这儿... People they sit here with their organs and...
- 跟你谈话很愉快 - 好多活着的人需要器官... - Nice talking to you. - People who are alive they need the...
你在干什么？ What do you think you're doing?
什么？ What?
如果你拔了插头我会告发你的 You pull that plug and I'll tell.
不是的 这个掉了地上了 我就是把它捡起来 No, it fell. It fell on the floor. I'm picking it up.
- 噢 - 拔插头 怎么会觉得我是要拔插头？ - Oh. - Pulling plugs. Where did you get that from?
你看上去就是要拔插头的样子 Well, you just looked like you were about to pull the plug.
你手放上去了 还这样... You had your hands on it, you were kind of...
拔插头？你疯了吗？ About to pull the plug? Are you crazy?
我听到你们说话了 I heard your conversation.
你想让这家伙死还是怎样？ So, what? You want this guy dead or something?
听着 这是非常严重的指控 Listen, that's a very serious thing you're saying.
你基本上是在说我是个杀人犯 我没有要拔插头 You're practically calling me a murderer. Okay, I'm not pulling any plug.
所以 拜托 别再说了 So, come on. Enough of that.
好吧 我可以假装没看到这件事 Okay. I'm willing to overlook this whole thing.
是吗？小子 你可真善良 多谢了 Are you? Boy. That's very nice of you, thank you.
- 我很感激 - 如果... - I appreciate that. - If...
如果什么？ Yeah?
你帮我实现一个被圆梦基金会拒绝的愿望 You grant my wish that the make-a-wish foundation turned down.
然后你就会不提这事儿了？ You'll forget about this?
同意吗？ You agree?
是什么愿望他们不帮你实现？ What was this wish that they wouldn't grant?
我想看裸体的女人 I want to see a naked woman.
- 你想看裸体的女人？ - 嗯哼 - You want to see a naked woman? - Um-hmm.
- 这就是你的愿望？ - 嗯哼 - That's your wish? - Um-hmm.
- 他们不帮你实现这个愿望？ - 当然不会 - They wouldn't grant that wish? - Of course not.
想象一下你一辈子都没见过裸体女人 Imagine going through your whole life without seeing a naked woman.
- 嘿 我差点就没见过了 - 嗯... - Hey, I almost did. - Hmm...
那你愿意帮我实现这个愿望吗？ So you're going to grant my wish?
这个嘛 我很想帮你 Well, you know, I would love to help you out.
- 你叫什么名字？ - 威尔森 - What's your name? - Wilson.
我很想帮你 威尔森 真的 I'd like to help you out, Wilson, I really would,
但是我不认识什么裸体女人 but I don't know any naked women.
我妻子 那是唯一一个我认识的 My wife, that's the only one I know.
- 她就很好啊 - 她不会做这个的 - She's perfect. - She's not going to do this.
为什么不呢？ Why not?
她不可能过来为你把衣服脱掉 She's not going to come and take her clothes off for you.
那就带我去你家 Take me to your place.
不可能 我得想想有没有别人 Forget it. I would have to come up with somebody else.
很好 那就是你的事儿了 Fine. That's your job.
- 我会想想看的 好吗？ - 你会想想？ - I'll think about it. Okay? - You'll think about it?
- 嗯 - 那你好好想想吧 - Yeah. - You think about it.
即使我找到了 你要怎么从这儿出去？ Even if I had someone, how are you gonna get out of here anyway?
拜托 我经常溜出去的 Oh, please, I sneak out all the time.
慢走不送 Have a nice day.
噢 安迪 Oh, Andy.
这个包裹是寄给你的 This package is for you.
打开吧 是什么？ Open it up. What is it?
我不知道 是耐特寄来的 I don't know. It's from Nat.
- 噢 是你爸寄来的 - 是啊 - Oh, it's from your father. - Yeah.
瞧瞧啊 Look at that.
吸烟服：旧时男子在家吸烟穿的宽松便服
他把他的吸烟服寄给我了 He sent me his smoking jacket.
- 哇哦 - 哇哦 他太好了 - Wow. - Wow. How lovely.
- 真好看 - 他为什么会寄这个给我？ - Look at that. - Why would he send this to me?
真漂亮啊 But it's beautiful.
- 哇哦 - 好了 好了 - Wow. - Okay. All right.
你知道这是怎么一回事吗？ You know what this is about?
很抱歉要告诉你 I'm sorry to tell you this.
这应该是给我的生日礼物 This is probably a birthday gift for me.
告诉你为什么 因为我们年轻的时候 I'll tell you why. 'Cause when we were younger,
每次我过生日 whenever it was my birthday
我父亲都会给他寄一份礼物 让他不觉得被冷落 my father would always send a gift to him so he wouldn't feel left out.
所以他有点搞糊涂了 So, he kind of got confused,
你知道 他现在不如当年了 you know, he's not... he's not the same as he was.
他应该是搞混了 写成了你的名字 He kind of got confused and he must have written your name on it.
你觉得他不是寄给我的？ You think that he did not send this to me?
- 他干嘛要寄给你？ - 你看啊... - Why would he send it to you? - Look at this...
"安迪大卫" "Andy David."
你看最上面 寄件人是"耐特" Look up at the top, in the return is "Nat."
安迪 这次生日他什么都没给我寄 他每次都会寄... Andy, he didn't send me anything for my birthday. He always sends...
你就是无法接受他给我寄了礼物这个事实 You can't accept the fact that he sent me a gift.
他答应过给我这件衣服的 He promised me this jacket.
- 谁答应过？ - 我父亲 - Who did? - My father.
噢 拉里 你真是不可理喻 Oh, Larry, you're unbelievable.
你就是无法接受你父亲送了我件好礼物的事实 You can't accept the fact that your father sent me a lovely gift.
他完全没理由要寄给你 这是我的生日 He has no reason to send it to you. It's my birthday.
- 就因为他爱我 - 他老糊涂了！ - Because he happens to love me. - He's confused!
我有个问题 I have a question for you.
你见过那本《我们》杂志吗？ Have you seen that "Us" magazine?
我有本《我们》杂志原本在... I had an "Us" magazine that was...
在另一间屋子 it was in the other room, it...
噢 Oh.
可能被我扔了 I think I threw that out.
什么？ What?
- 天啊 - 怎么了？ - Oh my god. - What?
上面记了个电话号码 I had a phone number.
- 一个非常重要的电话号码 - 什么号码？ - A very important phone number written on it. - What phone number?
你为什么要扔我的杂志？ Why did you throw away my magazine?
因为他把杂志带去卫生间弄脏了 Because he took it in the bathroom and contaminated it.
- 呃呵... - 什么？ - Oh... - What?
- 我怎么了？ - 拉里... - I what? - Larry...
- 好了 安迪 别闹了 行吗？ - 怎么了？ - All right Andy, let's get serious now, okay? - What?
我父亲是要把衣服寄给我的 那里写错了 My father sent that jacket for me. That's a mistake.
我父亲不可能把他的吸烟服寄给你 My father would not just send you his jacket.
- 他就是寄给我了 - 他答应过给我这件衣服的 - He sent me a jacket. - He promised me that jacket.
他给我了... He gave it to me...
- 他给我了因为他喜欢我 - 这是个错误 - He gave it to me because he likes me. - It's a mistake.
你在占一个老人的便宜 You're taking advantage of an old man.
- 你就像个熊孩子... - 我是熊孩子？ - You're like a little brat... - I'm a brat?
你个白痴！把衣服给我 You fucking moron! Give me that jacket.
不！这是我的衣服 No! No this is my jacket.
是我的衣服！ This is my jacket!
是我的！ It's mine!
他答应过给我那件衣服的 You know he promised that jacket to me.
这不公平 It's unfair.
他没给我生日礼物 他就是老糊涂了 He didn't give me a birthday present. He's just confused.
再明显不过了 It's so obvious.
真是大错特错 It's a big bowl of wrong.
安迪... Andy...
你去不去花花公子庄园？ So, are you gonna go to the Playboy mansion?
去不了 我被打入冷宫了 I can't go, I'm so deep in the doghouse now.
我把她的杂志扔了 她很生气 She's really pissed off at me 'cause I threw away her magazine
她在上面记了个电话号码 that had a phone number on it.
噢 得了吧 Aw, come on man.
你已经在冷宫了 她还能把你怎么样 You're already in the doghouse, you can't get in any more trouble,
还不如一错到底 you might as well get your money's worth.
对啊 还不如再犯点错 Yeah, might as well do something else wrong.
这是"数罪并罚"理论 It's a "double transgression" theory.
- 真是有趣的理论 - 多谢 - What an interesting theory. - Well, thank you.
"数罪并罚" "Double transgression theory".
我还可以叫上那个小孩威尔森一起去 And I could ask that kid Wilson, to go with me.
威尔森是谁？ Who's Wilson?
喔 威尔森是我在医院里遇到的一个小孩... Oh, yeah, Wilson. I met this kid in the hospital...
他们会少要点的 They'll take less.
相信我 相信我 他们会少要的 Trust me. Trust me, they'll take less.
好了 有消息了再打给我 Okay you call me back when you hear from them.
没问题的 That'll be fine.
我现在是洛杉矶时间 I'm on L.A. Time, okay?
好了 再联系 All right. I'll talk to you later.
怎么了？ What?
你在干什么？嗯？ What is this? Huh?
脱下来 Take this off.
这不是你的 天知地知 你知我知 This doesn't belong to you, you know it and I know it.
我父亲在我 14 岁的时候就答应给我这件吸烟服 My father promised me this smoking jacket when I was 14 years old.
- 拉里 别揪着不放了... - 好吧 告诉你 - Larry, move on. Move on... - All right, you know what?
- 我的天啊 - 我现在要去花花公子庄园了 好吗？ - Oh my goodness. - I'm going to the Playboy mansion now, all right?
等我回来后 我不想再看到你穿着这件衣服了 When I get back, I want you out of that jacket.
- 你要去花花公子庄园了？ - 我不想让你... - You're going to the Playboy mansion? - I don't want you...
- 穿着这件衣服晃来晃去 - 等等 等等... - walking around in this jacket anymore. - Hold on. Wait, wait, wait...
拉里 带上我 Larry... take me.
我想去 I want to go.
- 我能去吗？ - 真的？ - Can I go? - Really?
拜托了 Please.
我来这趟简直太值了 Oh, what would this do to my trip?
- 去了花花公子庄园！ - 那样是会挺好的 是吧？ - To go to the Playboy mansion! - That would be great, wouldn't it?
- 求你了 - 这也不是我能决定的 - Please. - It's not really my decision.
- 去了我这趟旅程就完美了 - 我知道 安迪 - It would make my trip so beautiful. - I know, Andy.
我也想帮你 I wish I could help you.
真的 我希望能帮你 I really do. I wish I could.
- 你可以的 问问杰夫 - 我不知道... - You can help me. Just ask Jeff. - I don't know...
就多一个人能怎么样？ What's one guy, what's two guys?
- 我有个主意 - 什么？ - Oh, I got an idea. - What?
- 你想去花花公子庄园？ - 嗯 - You want to go to the Playboy mansion? - Yeah.
真的想去？ You really want to go?
把衣服给我 Give me the jacket.
没问题 You got it.
- 我上楼换衣服 - 等下 - I'm going to go up and change. - Wait a second.
我要拿去干洗 脱下来 I'm taking it to the drycleaner. Take it off.
给你 给你 Here, here, here.
对着石头说话 Speak into the rock.
来者何人？ What's your business, please?
杰夫格林和他带的三位客人 Jeff Greene and three guests.
请开到车道上 Proceed up the driveway please.
- 哇哦 - 哇哦 - Wow. - Wow.
瞧瞧这家伙 Look at this thing, huh?
梅赛德斯奔驰SL300 SI Mercedes Benz, SL300 SI.
- 你认得啊？ - 嗯哼 - You know it, huh? - Um-hmm.
你做了什么？ What did you do?
你有什么毛病？ What is with you?
怎么了？我... What? I...
- 你做了什么？ - 我不知道 - What did you do? - I don't know.
抱歉 Sorry.
我得去下洗手间 I got to use the bathroom.
喔 嘿... Well... hey...
- 你好吗？ - 你好啊 - How do you do? - Hello there.
- 嗨 我是拉里大卫 - 休海夫纳 - Hi, Larry David. - Hugh Hefner.
- 很高兴见到你 - 我的荣幸 欢迎 - Yes, nice to meet you. - My pleasure, welcome.
- 嗨 我是霍莉 - 嗨 你好 - Hi, I'm Holly. - Hello. Hi.
- 布丽奇特 - 你好 - Bridget. - Hello. Hi.
- 你是跟谁一起...？ - 杰夫格林 - You're a guest of...? - Jeff Greene.
- 喔 是他 - 你认识他？ - Yes. Sure. - Oh, you know him?
- 当然 - 我一直以为他是假装认识你 - Sure. - See, I thought he was pretending the whole time.
- 不是的 的确认识 - 真有趣 - No, it's true. - Ah interesting.
在外面走来走去的长脖子动物是什么？ What's that animal walking around outside with the long neck?
叫什么？ What do you call that?
那个可能是火烈鸟 Well, it's probably a flamingo.
噢 火烈鸟 Oh, flamingo.
我不擅长分辨鸟类和动物 I'm not good at identifying birds and animals.
运动鞋我能分的清 You know, like sneakers, I can identify.
匡威 阿迪达斯 我都知道 Converse, Adidas, I know all that stuff.
我了解鞋子 鸟我不懂 I know sneakers, birds I don't know from.
这个是... This is...
你猜怎么着？ you know what?
这件吸烟服... This smoking jacket...
我爸有一件一模一样的 my father's got the exact same smoking jacket.
我不相信 Hmmm, I doubt it.
- 不相信？ - 这件是真货 - Doubt it? - Well, it's an original.
从意大利进口的 I have them imported from Italy.
- 是吗？ - 是件 Roselli - Really? - It's a Roselli.
独一无二 One of a kind.
我不确定 I don't know.
- 这样吧 - 嗯？ - You know what? - Hmm?
那件就在我车里 I got it right out in the car.
- 我想看看 - 是吗？ - Well, I'd like to see it. - Would you?
- 当然 - 那我去拿了？ - Sure. - Can I go get it?
好 Sure.
- 那你就待在这儿 - 好的 - Then stay right here. - Okay.
我去拿吸烟服 待这儿别动 I'll go get the smoking jacket. Stay right here.
我觉得是一模一样的 真的 I think it's the exact same one. I'm not kidding.
难以置信 Unbelievable.
什么事？ What?
你怎么了？ What's the matter with you?
- 我怎么了？ - 嗯 - What's the matter with me? - Yeah.
你把我的愿望毁了 You ruined my wish.
可能只是巧合 It could have been a coincidence.
她们见到你就跑开了 拉里 They ran away from you, Larry.
又不是我的错 It wasn't my fault.
显然是因为你做了什么 她们才逃跑的 Well, it was obviously something about you that made them do that.
帮我个忙 把那件衣服给我 Do me a favor, hand me that jacket.
为什么？ Why?
因为我要拿给海夫纳看 Because I want to show it to Hefner.
什么叫你想给他看？听着 上车 What do you mean you want to show it? Listen, get in the car.
说真的 我... 今天整个一团糟 Really, I'm... this whole day was just a mess.
快 把衣服给我 Come on, hand me the jacket.
- 不 - 什么？ - No. - What?
- 不 你快上车 - 你怎么回事？ - No. Just get in the car, come on. - What's the matter with you?
- 我想走了 - 听着 你个小混蛋... - I wanna go. - Look, you little shit...
干什么... 把衣服给我！ what the... give me that jacket!
我没敲门 I didn't knock.
我觉得你知道我是去... I figured you knew I was going out...
- 我可以直接进来... - 没关系 - I could just come in... - Sure.
我就没有客气了 希望你别介意 So I took that liberty. I hope it's okay.
你觉得怎么样？ What do you think?
- 我很惊讶 - 一样的 - I'm amazed. - It's the same thing.
这不是 Roselli 但是是件很逼真的冒牌货 Well, it's not a Roselli but it's a great knock-off.
- 真的吗？ - 是的 让我试试 - Really? - Yeah, let me try it on.
给你 There you go.
还挺合身 It even fits.
等我告诉我父亲 Wait till my father hears that...
休海夫纳试了他的吸烟服 Hugh Hefner was trying on his smoking jacket.
他肯定会高兴坏了 He's going to freak out.
哇哦 挺好啊 Wow. Pretty good.
- 看上去不错 - 是啊 - It looks good. - Yeah.
不错 真不错 Pretty, pretty good.
让我照照镜子 Let me look at it in the mirror.
不错 Not bad.
失陪一下 Excuse me.
你住哪儿？ Where do you live?
洛杉矶 In Los Angeles.
我注意到他们有... I noticed they got some...
- 外面养了几只猴子 是吧？ - 嗯 - What, they got some monkeys out there, huh? - Yeah.
你们身上都没什么口袋啊 You don't got much pockets in there, huh?
- 基本没有 - 我们不需要口袋 - Not too many pockets there. - We don't need pockets.
我离了口袋没法儿活 I couldn't live without pockets.
我不是牙医 Look, I'm not a dentist,
但是我很喜欢讨论口腔卫生... but I enjoy discussing dental hygiene...
它们是猴子 会攻击你的 They're monkeys, they'll attack you.
会挠死你 They'll claw you to death.
我认为牙龈按摩很重要 I'd say gum stimulation, very important,
牙线... flossing...
不过有些人 There are people, though,
说真的 的确有脚臭 let's face it, who do have a foot odor problem.
你是说我的脚不干净吗？ Are you saying I have dirty feet?
- 你叫什么来着？我忘了 - 布丽奇特 - Your name is what again? I forgot. - Bridget.
- 你是？ - 霍莉 - And you are? - Holly.
霍莉 Holly.
也许我们应该约个时间去打保龄球？ Maybe we should go bowling sometime?
也许吧 Maybe.
我觉得你们不想跟我去打保龄球 I don't think you want to go bowling with me.
我们来假装说腹语吧 好吗？ Let's pretend to be ventriloquists, okay?
不简单 Remarkable.
朝鲜的模仿很出色 They do impressive work in Korea.
石洞那边有人找你 亲爱的 You're wanted at the grotto now, baby.
抱歉 我得走了 Ah. Excuse me.
- 再见啦 - 拜拜 - See you later. - Bye bye.
花花公子庄园？ The Playboy mansion?
你就是去那儿了？ That's where you were?
你觉得我不会介意... You didn't think that I would mind...
你在裸体女人之间晃荡？ ...that you're running around with nude women?
根本就没有裸体女人 她们一见到我就都遮起来了 There's no nude women. They covered all up when they saw me.
你根本不知道我花了多少功夫在你的生日礼物上 You have no idea how hard I've been working on your birthday present.
我在那本杂志上记了电话号码 I had this phone number written on the back of a magazine,
- 结果你给扔了 - 对不起 - which you threw out. - I'm sorry.
现在我终于找回来了 And I finally got it back.
我安排了你跟格雷普雷尔 I have arranged for you to have lunch...
格雷普雷尔(Gary Player)：高尔夫球坛传奇人物
共进午餐然后打一轮高尔夫 and play a round of golf with Gary Player.
- 格雷普雷尔？- 嗯 因为他超喜欢《宋飞传》 - Gary Player? - Yes, because he's a huge "Seinfeld" fan,
- 但是现在我觉得为什么...？ - 等等 等等 - and now I just feel like, why...? - Wait, wait, wait!
- 你在干什么？不 不 不！ - 我觉得就直接撕了吧... - What are you doing? No, no, no! - I'm think I'm just going to rip it up...
等等 Wait, wait.
- 不 我觉得你不配得到它 - 噢 天啊 - No, I don't think you deserve this. - Oh, my god.
- 是的 - 别啊 我很抱歉 我真的很抱歉 - Yes. - No, no, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
但是怎么说呢？ But what can I say?
我知道你因为杂志的事已经在生我的气了 对吧？ I knew you were already mad at me for the magazine, okay?
所以我觉得 我还不如去庄园呢 So I figured, I might as well go to the mansion,
- 这样合起来道一次歉就行了 - 这就是你的逻辑？ - so one apology would cover both of them. - That was your logic?
你懂的 就像狗在地毯上撒了尿 You know, it's like the dog who pees on the rug.
他知道他要在狗窝里被关禁闭了 He knows he's getting sent to the doghouse,
所以回窝路上 他又顺便从厨房桌上扒了点吃的 so on the way, he grabs some food off the kitchen table.
这是"数罪并罚"理论 It's the "double transgression" theory.
不过你怎么知道我喜欢格雷普雷尔的？ How did you even know that I like Gary Player, by the way?
我记得你说过你从小就喜欢格雷普雷尔 I remember you said when you were a kid you loved Gary Player
他是你最喜欢的 比起帕尔默更喜欢他... and he was your favorite. You liked him more than Palmer...
- 你还记得这些？ - 我记得 - You remembered that? - I remembered that.
好了 小心脚下 有个台阶 然后是块地毯 Okay, watch the step. You got a step and you got a little carpet here.
嘿 你们好啊 Hey ya guys.
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey!
老爸可好？ Pop-sicola.
嘿 你知道我昨晚干什么了吗？ Hey, you know what I did last night?
- 去约会了 - 跟花花公子女郎？ - I had a date. - The playmate?
没错 鲍比苏 You betcha. Bobbi Sue.
- 进展顺利 她超级棒 - 太好了 - It's going great. She's terrific. - Fantastic.
- 我知道 - 你侄子厉害吧？ - I know, huh? - How about your nephew over here, huh?
没白从纽约过来啊 是吧？ Yeah, that's worth the trip from New York, huh?
爸 你怎么样？养老院还好吗？ How's it going, pops? How's the nursing home?
呃 我不太喜欢那儿 你知道的 Eh, I don't like it there so much. You know.
- 为什么？ - 我们给你换个地方 - Why? - We'll put you someplace else.
他们偷我东西 They steal from me.
我告诉你 拉里 I am telling you something, Larry.
- 他们在偷我东西 - 偷东西？ - They're stealing from me. - They're stealing?
你记得我那件漂亮的外套 我的吸烟服吧？ You know my beautiful jacket, my smoking jacket?
有红色的... 还有缎子的那件？ With the red and the... and satin?
当然记得 你的吸烟服 Yeah, sure. Your smoking jacket.
- 他们拿走了 - 不不不 - They took it. - No, no, no.
- 他们把我的吸烟服拿走了 - 耐特伯父 不是这样的 - They took my smoking jacket. - Uncle Nat, no, no.
你把衣服寄给我了 You sent it to me.
你实际上应给是想要寄给我当生日礼物的 Well you actually probably meant to send it to me for my birthday.
不 你寄给我了 因为包裹上写的是我的名字 No, you sent it to me because my name was on the package.
- 你经常说你想把那件衣服给我的 - 你给我了 - You always said you wanted me to have it. - You gave it to me.
- 嘿 先生们！ - 他是寄给我了 拉里！ - Hey, gentlemen! - He sent it to me Larry!
- 是的 但是他经常... - 你说... 耐特 - Yeah but he always... - You said... Nat...
我为什么要把那么漂亮的衣服寄给你们俩？ Why the hell would I send that beautiful jacket to either of you?
我喜欢那衣服 I love that jacket.
好吧 等着 All right, hold on.
怎么了？ What?
这是什么？ What's that?
这是什么鬼？ What the heck is this?
这不是我的... 不是我的吸烟服 This is not my... this is not my smoking jacket.
- 不是的 - 我很抱歉 - It's not. - Well I'm sorry.
我的衣服是 Roselli 的 再看看这个 My jacket is a Roselli jacket. Take a look at this thing.
你看这接缝 Take a look at the seams here.
这就是块破布 不是我的... It's a shmata, man. It's not my...
是我那件的仿造品 this is a knock-off of my jacket.
- 什么？ - 你怎么拿到这破玩意儿的？ - What? - How did you get a hold of this dreck?
- 这件是仿造品？ - 是仿造的 - This is a knock-off? - It's a knock-off.
- 是廉价的冒牌货 - 这不是 Roselli 的？ - It's a cheap, cheap imitation. - This is not a Roselli?
绝对不是 Roselli 的 This is not a Roselli.
你怎么搞到的？ How did you get it?
我了个去 Holy shit.
好吧 我会把你的衣服找回来的 All right. I'll get your jacket back.
- 好... - 今天 今天就找回来 - All right... - Today. I'm getting it back today.
- 行 - 休海夫纳 他拿了我的衣服 - All right. - Hugh Hefner. He's got my jacket.
休海夫纳拿了你的衣服？ Hugh Hefner has your jacket?
休海夫纳拿了我的衣服？ Hugh Hefner took my jacket?
- 嗨 - 拉里 - Hi. - Larry.
不好意思... 很抱歉来打扰你 但是... Sorry... sorry for bothering you but...
我来这儿的那天 the other day when I was here, I mistakenly
不小心拿错了吸烟服... took the wrong smoking jacket and...
我很抱歉 这是你的吸烟服 I'm sorry, this is your smoking jacket.
那件是我爸的 不好意思 That one's actually my father's. I apologize.
我觉得不是 I don't think so.
这件是 Roselli 的 This is a Roselli.
那件是冒牌的 That's a knock-off.
不不不 No, no no.
这件才是 Roselli This is the Roselli.
那件是冒牌的 That's the knock-off.
那个是我父亲的 That's my father's.
我能分辨得出来 I can tell the difference.
- 那件是冒牌的 - 你再看看 - That's the knock-off. - Well, here.
也许你应该再仔细看一下 Maybe you should take another look at it.
我真的没时间干这个 I really haven't got time for this.
他们在楼上等我呢 They're waiting for me upstairs.
- 抱歉 - 你拿错衣服了 - I'm sorry. - You got the wrong jacket.
- 抱歉 - 那件是我父亲的 - I'm sorry. - That's my father's jacket.
谁在楼上等你？ Who's waiting for you upstairs?
洛杉矶医疗中心
有变化吗？ So, any... change?
病情有恶化吗？ Has he gotten any worse?
没有 基本跟之前一样 No, it's about the same.
没变坏也没变好 No worse, no better.
- 见鬼 - 是啊 你知道吗 - Damn. - Yeah. You know,
我必须得说 你的坚持让我深感意外... I have to tell you that I'm quite impressed with your dedication...
- 真的？ - 坚持探望这位病人 - Really? - ...to visiting this patient.
喔 谢谢你 医生 Oh, thank you, Doctor.
这么做很贴心 That's very nice of you though.
毕竟是我朋友的堂哥 Well, it is my friend's cousin.
是啊 Yes.
你要怎么确定他死了？ How do you know if he's dead?
很简单 Well, it's pretty simple.
没有心跳 没有脑部活动 There's no heartbeat, no brain activity,
- 而且如果发生任何情况... - 因为他是器官捐献者 - and if anything happens... - Because he's an organ donor,
- 他的器官得能让别人用 - 是的 我明白 - and his organs need to be free. - Yes, I understand that.
- 我们已经... - 如果他像咸鱼一样这么躺着 - We've got that under... - If he sits here like a lox
几星期以后他的器官就不能用了 for a couple of weeks the organs aren't going to be worth it.
我认为那不成问题 Well, I don't think that will be a problem,
- 我们已经处理好这个了 - 好的 谢谢你 - we got that covered. - Okay. Well, thank you.
好了 听着... 就是我说的 Okay, listen... once again like I said,
你这么关心他很贴心... it's very nice of you to do what you're doing with him...
噢 一点绵薄之力罢了 Oh yeah, it's the least I could do.
- 很好 和你谈话很高兴 - 好 再见 - Well, good. Good talking to you, okay? - Okay. I'll see you later.
- 啊！ - 聊的挺不错啊 - Ah...! - Wasn't that lovely?
是啊 瞧瞧这是谁啊 Yes, look who's here.
对了 我的愿望实现的怎么样了？ Hmm. How's it going with the wish?
- 我不知道 我有点没办法了 - 真的吗？ - I don't know, I'm kind of out of ideas. - Um-hmm. Really?
- 嘿 我都已经带你... - 你欠我的！ - Hey, you know, I took you... - You owe me!
我已经带你去花花公子庄园了 I took you to the Playboy mansion.
- 你还想我怎么样？ - 我想看裸体女人 - What else do you want me to do? - I want to see a naked woman.
好吧 Okay.
好吧 换衣服 我再想想办法 All right, get dressed. I'll think of something.
- 要去哪儿？ - 我不知道 我得想想 - Where are we going? - I don't know. I'll have to think.
- 快点儿 换衣服 - 好的 - Hurry up. Get dressed. Come on. - Okay.
你真的越来越烦了 你知道吗？ You're getting to be a real pain in the ass, you know that?
- 我们来这儿干嘛？ - 我忘带手机了 - What are we doing here? - I forgot my cell phone.
我老婆在纽约 My wife's in New York.
她要全天24小时跟我保持联系 不然就会生气 She's very aggravated if she can't get in touch with me 24 hours a day.
我得随时待命 I have to have constant contact all the time.
哇哦 这是你的房子？ Whoa. Is this place your house?
不是的 租的 我的房子在装修 Nah, we're just renting. They're working on my house.
噢 天啊 Oh, my god.
拉里！ Larry!
那么 威尔森 你想好新的愿望了吗？ So Wilson, have you thought about another wish?
想好了 Yes, I have.
我想要休海夫纳的吸烟服 My wish is for Hugh Hefner's smoking jacket.
红色黑边的那件 The red one with the black trim.
Roselli 的那件 The Roselli.
- 拉里 - 嘿 格雷 - Larry. - Hey, Gary.
- 我的荣幸 - 见到你真是太好了 - What a pleasure. - Great to meet you.
噢 很高兴见到你 我是《宋飞传》的忠实观众 Oh, nice to meet you. I've been such a fan of "Seinfeld"
跟你共进午餐然后打 18 洞高尔夫 and to have lunch with you, and 18 holes of golf,
今天真是太棒了 what a way to have a day.
- 我的天啊 - 快进来吧 - Oh, my god. - Come right in.
我不敢相信我老婆居然联系上了你 I can't believe my wife got in touch with you to do this.
- 真是难以置信 - 好好珍惜她吧 她很不错 - It's unbelievable. - Hang on to her, she's a good one.
这件夹克？ This jacket?
是朋友送我的生日礼物 My friend gave it to me for a birthday present.
这件非同寻常 拉里 It's uncanny, Larry.
跟赢了大师赛之后他们奖给我的那件一模一样 That's exactly like the jacket they award you when you win the masters.
这件是1961年大师赛的夹克 Now there's a 1961 masters jacket.
- 哇哦 - 漂亮吧？ - Wow. - Isn't that a beauty?
- 瞧瞧看啊 一模一样 - 是啊 - Look at this? Exactly the same. - Exactly.
- 你想试试吗？ - 可以吗？ - Why don't you try it on? - Really?
当然了 穿上试试 Yeah, absolutely. Put it on.
这件太像了 真令我惊讶 I cannot get over how similar this jacket is to that.
你介意我穿上照照镜子吗？ You mind if I just go and have a look at this in the mirror?
这件是你61年打败帕尔默的时候赢的？ What? This is the one you beat Palmer in '61, right?
是的 没错 Absolutely. Come on.
快看啊 嘿 很合身 Look at that. Hey, it fits you.
是啊 Yeah.
抱歉失陪一下 You'll have to excuse me a minute.
翻译：Carol Gao 校对：610、白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net